Sunday, October 14, 2007

Ikea = HELL ON EARTH

Many years ago, I lost my love for Ikea, however that is another blog.

This blog revolves around Kimberly aka Angwee Piwate and her need for additional items for her groovy new bachelorette pad. Now, we have been best friends for ages, but she falls just under my husband on the short list of people who aggravate the hell out of me when shopping. What started as an innocent enough adventure in 2 hours escalated into me nearly having to go to jail in order to get out of the parking lot.

Here are my observations of this tragic event:
  1. Free range children, half of whom had snot rings and coughs that brought to mind whooping cough running buck wild throughout the store or screaming at high decibels everywhere you turned.
  2. Ikea's crazy follow the maze to the cheese design that makes me crazy.
  3. 99.9% of the items had NO PRICE TAG or indication of cost.
  4. Actually getting your vehicle backed into the loading zone is an act of God. I actually had a granny in a crapped out camry cut me off and back into my spot while I was trying to avoid the free range children that had spilled out of the store and into the loading zone area.
  5. After loosing my mind verbally on said old coont, I finally was able to get backed in, and I took up two spots on PURPOSE!
  6. Realizing that you and going have to help carry half the crap that was just purchased up a flight of stairs (fuck).

All this and I am not even PMSing! Who knew that Ikea had the ability to absolutely ruin your day! I know it is not the store's fault (although I still say their furniture is sub-par and crappy and if you order in online you are screwed if you want to return it). It just leads the the age old question.....why do stupid people breed.

I am taking my toys and going home now.

6 comments:

Michelle L. said...

you can't even order 90% of it online. Plus, their shipping is so expensive it is cheaper to drive to Chicago and buy it. Ikea and Pier One both make me homicidal.

lisa2starR said...

I prefer to just not shop! I had the same ugly couch for almost 15 years before I broke down and went shopping for a new one. The old couch was so bad, even Goodwill wouldn't take it!!

The Lady in Red said...

As bad as IKEA is, Costco and Sam's Club are WORSE. Those places make me want to become a bomb wielding terrorist. Free range midgets should be against the law.
Ikea has good cinnamon rolls though. And Lingonberry juice.

KlevaBich said...

I love IKEA, but I've only been to the Seattle store. Maybe I just lucked out, or maybe I only went on weekdays, I don't remember. But ANYWHERE with free range yard apes and shitty drivers could send one right 'round the bend...

Kathy said...

What? You don't need 75 different kinds of Swedish-labeled candles?

Foo said...

I, too, have had a rather unpleasant experience at Ikea. I stumbled upon your blog post when I searched for "Ikea hell of hells". Trust me, Ikea is no better in the UK (speaking from experience of three stores). Glurk. I'm linking to this post too :-)